Re-learn How you Pee… and Do Other Things

Wherever you are, be all there

“As you pee, don’t just think of it as something you’ve done thousands of times, to be taken for granted. Feel the sensation like it’s the first time. Be a child who has never noticed what the bubbles of pee look like in a toilet before. It’s a thing of wonder, a thing to behold with the same weight as we behold all of life, and sex, and death.” *

Of late (last few months) I have been spending a lot of time thinking about this: being present.

Quick question: Do you know the taste of the coffee or tea or juice you drank this morning? Do you remember the sensations on your tongue as you sipped? Do you recall the feeling of the fluid flowing down your gut? Do you remember the aroma? Or did you gulp it down so fast you nearly forgot to swallow it before you flew out the door because you were late to go somewhere? If you did this, fear not, you are in plenty of company! Unfortunately, most of us live our lives that way. Nothing really matters. We don’t really enjoy or experience what we do, we just do. We eat to get full. We drink to quench thirst. We drive to only arrive at our destination. Like zombies! Failing to notice the billion things happening all around us. New buildings coming up, the beautiful sky, the nice chilly air, our tummies rumbling, the sound of footsteps, the sound of rubber on tarmac, the feel of the morning on on your face.

I dare you to stand still in the shower the next time you’re there and just do nothing, except breathe; let the water flow down your back. Feel the water hit your shoulders. Feel the temperature of the water. Just breathe. Do this for 30 seconds. I promise you, you have never felt that before. A scaringly vast majority of humanity does not have the freakishly immense opportunity to do that- to stand under heated running water.  The next time you eat a fruit: eat it one single bite at a time. Swallow before you take another bite. Feel the fruit in your mouth. Observe yourself salivate. And begin to truly enjoy the fruit.

Be present, gratefully

Do this more often:

Look at whoever you’re speaking to; look around you when you walk; turn off the music and take off the headphones as you commute, listen to the sounds and take in the scents. Not everyone can hear. Not everyone can afford to pay for a matatu or has somewhere to actually go to (work, home, meet with friends etc.).

When we truly experience (what we see, what we hear, what we eat, who we speak to, who we love, everything!!!!), everything becomes a big deal. Life makes a bit more sense and the “little,” “ordinary” and “normal” things we do become more. We become more alive. And (I think) we become more joyful.

Try it this week and let me know what you think. Maybe i’m just being weird :-)

If you think i’m just being a strange person, check out this article (it is really short by the way ;-) ) and join me; let’s be more strange joyful people :-D

Credits
* Borrowed from zenhabits, an uber cool blog by Leo Babuta: http://zenhabits.net/inhabit/

Life is Temporary

Romance, Money, Marriage and Excuses

“It’s symbolic. It’s symbolic like wanting you to kill the spider. To open the door. To slay the dragon.”

Growing up as a 20-something year old in this generation is not easy. Heck! Making it to our 40′s with a family (just one), good kids (no Bad-Boy-Biebers or picture-posing Willows) and a stable form of income will be nothing short of an achievement given how much ridiculousness we are constantly being bombarded with nowadays.

We live in the age of entertainment (no, you did not read enlightenment), consumerism, instancy (microwave dat shii!) and peculiarity (e.g. your Senator probably wears more chains than 2 Chainz and has featured in Niaje! more than Vera Sidika). We live in the age of emancipation. What a man can do, a woman can do! Eeh! If you do me, I do you, mandugobes  :-D Forgive the P-Square diversion. But isn’t that what we are told everyday by opinionated single ladies on radio, television and the newspapers? “Who needs men? What are they for? We have to stick together ladies!” FYI, both Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Beyoncé are married! I’m just saying!!! I simply googled the two names that popped up in my head. Promise. Runs and hides from the stake wielding farmer.ish folk who will scream at the top of their lungs that marriage and feminism are completely not related (then si muoane ai!)  Anyway, i’m all for respecting and protecting the rights and freedoms of all. You can put the burning stakes and holy water down ladies. I’m on you’re side. It smells nice :-)

But for y'all who clamour for "equality," I'll just leave this here
But for y’all who clamour for “equality,” I’ll just leave this here

This week I came across some very interesting reads that I would urge you all to read. Guys, it’s the kind of stuff will make you smack yourself across the head if you’re like me and have been living in ignorance :-D I would particularly urge the fellas to read the first two; we could definitely learn a few things!

“Romance is about spending time, not money. Your competency at it will not depend on what you are willing to spend, but on how creative and thoughtful you are going to be. I guarantee you that a woman would rather you put real effort into doing something less expensive together than she would taking her to a five star restaurant and having a lousy time with lousy conversation.”

You can read the rest on why paying for the date is not about the money here.

“I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you.”

This article on why marriage isn’t for you was just… beautiful! Wait, are guys allowed to say that? [Checks man card] Yeah, we’re good.

[I take this opportunity to apologise to the woman that makes my heart go yori yori because of the raw deal you have clearly been getting! No returns though :-) ]

Also, as you wrestle with whatever changes you may be trying to apply to your life, you probably want to take 5 minutes of your time and read this piece here on excuses. Relax, it’s not one of those self-help, “you can do it yippee!” kind articles. It does not offer a 7 step process to get you to become super-human. It’s real.

I hope this gets your weekend going on the right track!

Psst! Ladies, if you can get your men to read the first two articles, please feel free to thank me (when you M-PESA me please remember pesa za kutoa ;-) I also accept cars and 5-star holiday destinations as payment. Worst case scenario, you can drop a comment.

Credits

  1. “Here is Why Paying For The Date Is Not About The Money” is an article by James Michael Sama. Source: http://jamesmsama.com/2014/09/10/here-is-why-paying-for-the-date-is-not-about-the-money/
  2. “Marriage Isn’t For You” is an article by Seth Adam Smith. Source: http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/
  3. “Here’s the Problem With Your Excuses” is an article by Nicole Antionette. Source: http://www.lifelessbullshit.com/excuses/